i swim in blood but drown in you!!

Mon, 10 May 2004 15:44:01 GMT

kae i thought u hate bonnie seriously what is with you and doing that? it really bugs me but i love you

Sun, 02 May 2004 01:02:06 GMT

hey well things are ok me and dave arnt doing the best but things arnt horrible neither. kaes in iowa right now im at my grannys house my momma just got a new car so that i can drive it yeaaaaaaaa its a 2004 alero oldsmobile with a v6 engine its a automatic. any ways since theres not hing to new bye oh my sister is my sexy lover!! cool people rock on!!!!!!!!

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 14:06:34 GMT

kae why were you and anna banned from posting in my journal? did you do that oh and did you sub title my journal? can you please ask before you change things?

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 14:29:32 GMT

hi every one im so happy dave is my lover and i live him so bye oh sorry kae that you thoughgt i was seriouse thats kinda funny

Thu, 15 Apr 2004 14:08:25 GMT

hi every one well any ways im reading the new kurt cobain book "love and death" its really good. s ohow is every one? me just great i got into a fight with dave again over stupid shit cuz im a jelouse freak i cant help it though because i have bad self esteem any wways there is nothing to write about so bye...." to all who knew me, and knew me well you always knew id do this kill myself and end this life im sorry now im gone"-ars

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 13:59:25 GMT

well anna i really dont care if i know you or not you just bug me any ways matt howsa the ged coming along? yea me and dave are doing ok i guess but im not personally doing too great but kae you are my hot lover!!!!! hey kae get this bri cracked that lame emo joke about the lightbulb yet when she commented inyour thing awile ago she said she liked lack there of which sounds preatty emo to me thats really funny i miss my lack there of cd its at justines RRRRRRR!!!!! oh i got a new cd its preatty great 1208 turn of the screw!!!!! rock my pathedic sorrowed life

BLOODY DOOM

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 15:33:21 GMT

two shots two cuts to late to soon to leave this love and dread in doom i swim in blood but drown in you wishing that this wasnt true the cuts run deep but hurt runs deeper this sinnig life it makes me weaker

KAE KAE KAE KAE

Thu, 08 Apr 2004 14:42:09 GMT

LIST ME AS A FRIENS SO I CAN COMENT!!!!

Bitter sweet decay

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 16:57:22 GMT

LAST NIGHT I COULDNT SLEEP

SO SILENT,DEAD,DISCREAT

IM LIVING ONLY DEAD

ITS BETTER LEFT UNSEAD

THIS BROKEN BODY SCREAMS INSIDE

THIS PAIN IS SO UNREAL

THIS SHATTERED HEART DOES WEEP

IT NEVER SEEMS TO HEAL

THE CRYING NEVER STOPS

THE CUTTING NEVER ENDS

THE PAIN WONT SEEM TO GO AWAY

ITS LIKE BITTER SWEET DECAY

THE DREAMS I HAD ARE DEAD

JUST A MEMORY IN MY HEAD

ALL UNHEARD,AND LEFT UNSAID

CARRYING ON IN MISERY

THE SORROW AND THE PAIN

THERES NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR

THERES NOTHING LEFT TO GAIN

FOR I WILL LEAVE THIS LIFE IN BITTER SWEET DECAY

who wants to die? I DO I DO

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:18:42 GMT

well me and kae are trying to work out our diffrances last night me an d my mom got in to a arrgument about sex and stuf she got pissed at me and told me dave can never come over again i told her im moving out she said fine but ill call the cops. she can go iht ahead id ather be in lock up than with her now daves all like idont know if i can be with you its kinda pointless if we cant ever see eachother and i was like wel if you really loved me youd be here for me asshole!!!!

kae

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 16:43:03 GMT

kae this is for you just to let you know you were never really there for me you never understood since you havnt been in love you say you have but how long diid it last for? oh ya like 3 weeks your so pathedic oh and me and dave are allot hapier now so you proved nothing!!!!

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 16:16:33 GMT

kae you lied thats all i have to say you also stood me up im sorry i dont feel like talking to any one including you kae i just lost my boyfriend for good and my friend, me and dave decided its best we dont see eachother for at least 1 month untill we feel we could prosue a friendship which isnt happening any time soon considering he also stood me up this weekend gosh i hate every thing in my life right now there is nothing to even care about any more this is probally gonna be my last entry so ill make it worth your time, kae that icon was mine i found it and it was my picture you also lied about that when you told me last week that you made it my icon gosh do you even have a reason why you should have that as your icon oh yea just so you can look like your depressed. well i know im saying alot of things out of anger but thats when the truth ussually comes out ill bring your cons 2 morrow

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 14:02:33 GMT

hey well nothings to new me and dave r ok but somthing still feels wrong its just not the same any ways thank you matt for the thing about slopeck it made me feel alot better. new icons i like!!!(MATT & ERIN) i really like yours erin, so hows it goin SKIPPER MATT lol jk i hope you get your ged good luck pal oh and 4 u briana this is alysia s from middle school REMEMBER????? well i dont really have anything to important to say this time aroud oh yea matt there is another poem towrds the end called dying angels sinning hearts its preatty twisted any ways gotta go k bye

k maybe convorsation is better than silence

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 16:39:43 GMT

ok i know im always saying bad stuff about dave and yea it is all true but we had a serious convorsation on saturday night about where this is going and i tried to break up with him but he started to cry and told me hes going to change i know he probally wont but ill give it 2 weeks and if anything goes wrong we are done. sometimes i try to give him the benifit of the doubt but its hard when i know whats going to happen. i dont know he also told me his mom gave him a lecture and told him she lives me and he should apreicate me and whatever else. any ways i dont really feel like going into detail about our convorsation because its kinda personal but ill talk more later bye everyone!!!

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 16:30:45 GMT

Hey well me and kae got in a fight but were pals again.. so any ways i havnt talked to dave since our talk about if a relationship should take effort hes so ignorant and selfish i wish that he would just change. but not tottally just his imiture ways and stuff. sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be in love with some one else would it be any better or just the same but differant problems, god theres so much shit thats mest up in our relationship i mean how many people forget or stand up their girlfriend on their b-day. he didnt even say sorry come to think of it he never does because he knows that ill never do any thing about it. i really wish i could but i love him so much that i cant leave him.

SILENCE IS BETTER THAN CONVORSATION

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 16:28:16 GMT

well dave and i had a convorsation about where our relationship is going, he seems to think relationships shouldnt take any effort or work witch is not true if a relationship didnt take any effort it wouldnt be anything. he told me i need to stop trying so i will stop then he'll see a relationship withought any one trying will go no where

TAKE THIS GUN TO MY THROAT

REMEMBER EVERY THING I WROTE?

I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

AND HOW MUCH THIS MEANT

NOW MY DREAMS ARE SHATTERED

THROWN AWAY THEY LIE THERE SCATTERED

WITH THIS GUN TO MY THROAT

I'LL REHEARSE WHAT I WROTE

I'LL TELL YOU I LOVE YOU

BUT THIS TIME THIS MEANS NOTHING

LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE

JUST PROMISE YOU WONT CRY

WHATS DONE HAS BEEN DONE

WHATS SAID HAS BEEN SAID

I THINK WE'VE HAD OUR FUN

BUT NOW THIS IS DONE

AND I AM DEAD!!

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 15:10:38 GMT

coughing up blood from the scars on your arms*

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 14:56:02 GMT

THE NIGHT SHE DIED

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 16:25:45 GMT

He kisses her so softly on the lips

as he brushes his hands against her hips

he pulls her shirt over her haed

and places it gently on the bed

the scars are visible

the cuts are noticable

but all he does is pull her a little closer

he un does her bra

and slips off her pants

if only he knew this was his chance

his chance to save her life

to save her from herself

to save her from the knife

he sets her head down on the pillow

she moves her head away

making love to him never felt this way

so empty and gone

she knows this is wrong

where there once was love

it is now all gone

at the end of the night he wispers in her ear

i love you forever and ill always be near

to bad she didnt hear what was wispered in her ear

she ended her lfe that same night with a knife

this sucks

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 05:43:03 GMT

hey guys this is kae umm i am trying to make this look wonderful but atleast i got the senses fail picture right?
umm my eyes are starting to umm well... close..
so night night..!

hope you like this ALYSIA!

kaelynn <333 i tried my best

KAES SICK AND I LOVE HER GET BETTER

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 17:46:48 GMT

hey every one im really bored so i thought id talk 2 u all im sitting up at school waiting 4 dave to pick me up.if some one does my journal 4 me i will give you my password to customize my journal kae tried but she couldnt get it.. any ways im grounded it sucks really bad does any one like my poem i wrote yesterday? it was 4 dave.. its kinda sick and twisted but thats ok im kinda a sick and twisted person lol!!!! well im gonna go cuz theres nothin 2 say.. exept KAE I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER EVERYONE KAES SICK TELL HER YOU LOVE HER(:<3alysia

help me set up my journal some one!!!

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 14:13:48 GMT

HEY WILL SOME ONE HELP ME SET UP MY LJ??? I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET BACK GROUND COLORS AND STUFF ANY WAYS ME AND DAVE TALKED YESTERDAY BUT I DONT THINK HE UNDERSTANDS THAT THIS COULD BE HIS LAST CHANCE..I LOVE HIM TO DEATH BUT HE MAKES THINGS SO FUCKEN HARD. HE EVEN FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY HOW LAME IS THAT ANY WAYS WE TALKED A LITTLE AND I TOLD HIM HE HAS TO GROW UP ALLOT AND MAYBE THINK ABOUT WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE,HES A GREAT GUY BUT HE HURTS ME WAY TO MUCH AND ITS JUST SO HARD TO GIVE HIM EVERYTHING AND RECIEVE NOTHING SO MUCH AS A CALL..

again 2 u u know who u r

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 13:50:38 GMT

IM SORRY YOU HAVE TO PUT ON A FRONT IT SHOULDNT BE LIKE THAT YOU SHOULD TRY BEING YOURSELF AND IMPRESSING YOURSELF NOT OTHER PEOPLE.. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT IT PISSES ME OFF

...

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 19:43:36 GMT

not everybody is going to like everybody and i'm sorry but its whats wrong with me and you can't blame me.. everybody already likes you.. woo hoo. bye

DYING ANGELS SINNING HEARTS

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 20:06:22 GMT

KILL MY HEART
SLIT MY THROAT
FUCK MY WOUNDS
I HOPE THIS HURTS
INSERT YOUR TOUNG IN THIS HOLE
DONT FORGET TO STEAL MY SOUL
TAKE FROM ME MY VIRGINITY
LEAVE FOR ME MY INSANITY
DRAW THE BLOOD FROM MY VEIN
AND I'LL REMEMBER TO DO THE SAME
AND THE ANGELS WILL CRY
RIP OUT THEIR VOICE
AND I'LL REJOICE
SING FOR ME THE TRADGEDY
OF WHAT WAS ONCE YOU AND ME